Find Your Way
by xlumina
Summary: Hope has a lot on his plate. Noel loves him no matter what. High school AU.
1. Chapter 1

Find Your Way

Chapter 1

_Hope has a lot on his plate. Noel loves him no matter what. High school AU._

_A/N_

_So this is something I have been thinking about writing for a while. Hopefully it will be a multi chapter fic._

_WARNINGS_

_yaoi. if you don't like, don't read_

_scenes of self harm that might be triggering_

_I DO NOT PROMOTE SELF HARM OR EATING DISORDERS_

_DISCLAMER_

_I do not own final fantasy or any of the characters in this story._

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Noel blinked his eyes open. His room was filled with sunlight. He looked over at his clock, 3:18 pm. Slept through the whole day...oops, he thought. He reached over to his night table and grabbed his phone. He scrolled through his contacts until he found the one he was looking for. Hope Estheim. He hit the call button and waited.

"Hey Noel" He heard Hope's voice on the other end.

"Good morning sunshine" He said over enthusiastically.

"It's three o'clock did you just wake up?" Hope asked, already knowing the answer.

"Maybe"

"Which means yes"

"Shut up"

Hope laughed. "What are you doing"

"Nothing but I gotta get that homework done at some point" Noel said with an annoyed tone to his voice. He had three months to finish the summer homework and now, the day before school starts, he hadn't even touched it. Noel was smart. Very smart. He possibly had the best grades in his year, but that didn't mean he was extremely lazy when it came to schoolwork. It also didn't mean that he didn't have serious procrastination problems.

"Of course you didn't do that yet" Hope said sarcastically.

"I'm living life to the fullest. You can't blame me for that."

"Whatever"

"So you should come over"

"What? You just said you have a whole summer's worth of homework to finish"

"Yeah but I could do that later. Plus I haven't seen you in forever."

"You saw me yesterday"

"Like I said. Forever. Come on would it kill you to walk next door?"

"Fine. But let me take a shower first, then I'll come over"

"Okiedokies" Noel sung and hung up.

Now he had a little time to kill. Hope said he would come over after he showered. And Hope took really long showers. Noel doesn't really blame him. The water relaxes him. Especially if he is having a bad day, which Hope had more often than not. Hope lived next door, and they had been neighbors and best friends their entire lives. Now, of course, they were more then best friends and they had been for a while. Noel worried about him. Hope says he shouldn't, but that never stops him. Of course it doesn't. He loves that boy.

Noel gets up and walks over to his dresser. He throws on a navy blue t shirt and puts on a pair of gray sweatpants. He walks out of his room and shuts the door behind him and walks down the hallway and down the stairs. He turns on the couch and flips through TV channels while he waits for Hope to get there. His mom wouldn't be home yet. Lightning was a police officer. Noel doesn't like that. He doesn't like the idea that maybe one day she might not come home. There are some seriously messed up people in the world. His dad was out of the picture. He left when Noel was a baby. Noel can't remember anything about him. He's only ever seen pictures, but he hates his guts. Lightning had boyfriends. Noel always disliked them. Until Noctis. Lighting's boyfriend of three years. Noctis was the only one that wasn't a complete and utter twat. Noctis took care of Lightning. Noctis respected her. Noctis respected Noel. Noctis respected Hope. That was all he needed. Noel respected Noctis. Lightning and Noel were very close and she had always been supportive of him and Hope's relationship. The same could not be said for Hope's parents. They didn't know. They were very old fashioned. Strict and conservative. Hope wasn't very close to them. He was too scared to tell them the truth. Noel knew this, and didn't blame him at all. They might kick him out if they knew. Noel hated to think that there were people like that in the world, but he tried not to think about it too much. He continued to scroll through channels and waited for Hope to knock on the door.

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Hope sat on the tiles in the shower. He was done washing himself but wasn't quite ready to get out yet. Tomorrow was the first day of school and he was not in the least bit excited. It was all he could think about, and not in a good way. He sighed and looked down at the inside of his left ankle where he saw four bright red cuts. He ran his thumb over them. He hoped Noel wouldn't notice them. Noel knew he cut, but Hope hated for Noel to worry about him. He tilted his head back and let the water run down his hair. He should probably get out soon. The water was starting to get cold. He picked himself up and turned the knob to shut the water off. He grabbed the towel off the rack and dried his hair and the rest of his body. He tied the towel around his waist and walked into his room. He pulled on a pair of jeans and his favorite sweater. Actually, it was Noel's sweater. It was a little big on him, but it was soft and cozy. He walked downstairs and tied his sneakers. His dad was sitting at the table reading a newspaper. "I'm going over to Noel's" Hope told his father. "Don't come back late you have school tomorrow." He replied. Hope nodded and finished tying his shoes. Hope hadn't eaten anything all day, and now he was starting to feel it. His head was pounding and he felt dizzy. He grabbed an apple off the counter and walked outside. He took three bites into the apple and threw it in the trash in front of Noel's house. That would be enough to keep him from passing out. Hope walked up to the door and knocked. He waited. No answer. He rolled his eyes and knocked again. The door opened and Hope saw Noel's face. "I said it was open" Noel told him. "Oh. I guess I didn't hear you. Sorry." Hope slowly replied. "It's okay babe" Noel said and kissed him on the forehead. Hope walked into the all familiar living room. "You hungry? I haven't eaten yet." Noel asked. "No, I ate before you called me" Hope lied. He didn't want to eat. He didn't want to lie to Noel either, but it was better than Noel worrying about him. "Did you really?" Noel asked looking concerned. Noel could read him like an open book. "Yeah I had some fruit." Hope technically wasn't lying. He did have three bites of an apple. "Okay." Noel said and grabbed some pop tarts out of the cabinet in the kitchen. He put them in the toaster and walked back into the living room where Hope was sprawled out on the couch. "Somebody's getting comfy" Noel said sarcastically. "Is Lightning home?" Hope asked. "No. She's still at work. Do you want to watch a movie?"

"Sure"

Noel threw him the remote. "Find something while I go get my pop tart."

"Okay"

Noel walked back into the kitchen and pulled the pop tart out of the toaster. He didn't bother getting a plate. It wasn't that hot. He shoved a big bite of the pop tart in his mouth as he walked into the living room again. "Didyafindanyfing?" He asked, his voice muffled by the food in his mouth.

"The Notebook" Hope replied, grinning.

Noel groaned. "Again? We already saw this." Noel really didn't like this movie.

"C'mon I love this movie" Hope whined. "Pretty please?" He pulled his best puppy dog face.

"Fine. You're so lucky I love you" Noel told him.

"YAAY" Hope practically yelled. "I love you too by the way" Hope said as Noel shut shut off all the lights. "I know." Hope scooted over so Noel could lay down behind him on the couch. Noel wrapped an arm around him and settled his chin on Hope's forehead. Hope pressed play on the remote and started the movie. Noel pressed a light kiss to Hope's cheek while they watched the opening credits. They continued to watch the movie in silence. Noel did his best to keep his mouth shut, because Hope hated when he talked during movies. He did slip out a few sarcastic comments here and there though.

After the movie was over, Hope turned around in Noel's arms. "Was it that bad?" Hope asked his boyfriend.

"Yes.

"I think you secretly like it"

"That is the most false accusation I have ever heard."

Hope laughed. "I'm not even going to argue with that." Hope pulled himself up and kissed his boyfriend's lips. "What time is it?" Noel awkwardly shifted his hips and pulled his phone out of his pocket. "Eight thirty. Why? Do you have to be home at a certain time?" Noel asked.

"No, my dad just said no to come home late. I can stay longer."

"Good"

It was quiet for a minute. Noel always checked up on Hope a few times a day and Hope had his sleeves rolled down since he came over.

"Let me see your wrists love"

"Noel I didn't cut myself since I last saw you." Hope rolled up his sleeves anyway. He knew that Noel would get them up one way or another. "See? Nothing."

Noel ran his eyes up and down Hopes thin forearms. "Let me see your legs." Hope just gave in and rolled up the bottom of his jeans and showed Noel the cuts on his ankle. "I thought you said you didn't cut."

"I didn't want you to be disappointed in me."

"I'm never disappointed in you. But you know I don't like when you hurt yourself like this. What happened? Why'd you do it?"

"I couldn't sleep. I was laying in bed for hours and I was really tired and I just thought if I cut I would feel better, so I did."

"You should have called me."

"I didn't know if you were sleeping."

"I don't mind if you wake me up. I always like to talk to you."

"I know but I hate that I'm so fucking dependent. I can't do anything by myself. I'm so childish."

"You're not childish. It's okay to need help from others sometimes"

"Are you mad at me now?"

"Of course not. I love you."

"I love you too. I promise I'll try harder."

"I know you're trying babe."

Noel pressed his lips against Hope's. The kiss was soft at first. It then turned warmer, and then hungrier, and rougher. Before they knew it they were full on making out. All too soon though, they heard a key in the door. They scrambled into a upright sitting position on the couch, trying to act natural. Of course it was probably the most unnatural looking position ever.

"Hi boys" Lightning said as she walked inside carrying a single paper bag of groceries.

"Hi mom."

"Hello Lightning."

"What are you two up to?" She asked

"Nothing much" Hope replied

"Yup. Just watching a movie. Noel said pointing to the TV.

"It's a blank screen." Lightning said raising her eyebrows.

"Yeah well you see uhh" Noel started

"Whatever I don't need to know. Are you staying for dinner Hope?" Lightning said.

"I can't. My dad said I need to be home." Hope told her.

"That's too bad. Maybe next time. You know we love to have you."

"I love being here. Thanks for the offer. I really wish I could stay."

Lightning smiled gently.

"Hope it's nine thirty" Noel glanced over at him.

"Yeah I should go now."

Noel really didn't want him to leave. But he didn't want Hope's dad getting mad at them. Especially Hope. "I'll walk you home." They walked towards the door. "I'll be right back mom" Lightning nodded and started dinner. Noel shut the door behind them and started walking down the street to Hope's house. Hope turned to Noel "You gonna do that homework anytime soon?" "Oh shit I forgot about that"

"I knew you would."

"Shut up."

They reached Hope's front door and Noel pulled his boyfriend into a tight hug.

"I love you babe I'll see you in the morning." Hope told him.

"Ditto." Noel replied.

Hope unlocked the door to his house and Noel stood and waited until Hope was inside, then started walking back to his house. He kicked his shoes off once he was back inside. "Dinner is ready hun." Noel heard his mom in the kitchen. She placed a plate of pasta on the table for him.

"As much as I would love to stay and chat, I am going to take this up to my room. I may or may not have left all my summer homework until nine forty five on the night before the first day of school." Lightning's eyes widened.

"Noel Kreiss are you kidding me?"

Noel smirked and grabbed his plate of dinner and walked up the stairs. He kicked open the door to his room and set his plate down on his desk. He stabbed his pasta with his fork and looked over at his backpack. This was going to be a long night.

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A/N:

_So that's it. Let me know how you like it c:_


	2. Chapter 2

Find Your Way

Chapter 2

Hope has a lot on his plate. Noel loves him no matter what. Highschool AU.

WARNINGS

yaoi. if you don't like, don't read

scenes of self harm that might be triggering

I DO NOT PROMOTE SELF HARM OR EATING DISORDERS

DISCLAMER I do not own final fantasy or any of the characters in this story. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hope awoke to the ringing of his alarm and buried his face into the pillow. First day of school. The day he had been dreading all summer. He sat up and leaned back against the headboard. He looked at clock and rubbed his eyes. He sat still for a few more minutes. He had to be at Noel's house in forty five minutes so Lightning could drive them to school on her way to work. He climbed out of his bed and walked out of the his room to the bathroom. He stared at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. He had dark circles under his eyes. His lips were dry and chapped. He sighed and picked up his toothbrush and squeezed some toothpaste onto it. He brushed his teeth and rummaged in the medicine cabinet for some chap stick. He spit into the sink and rinsed his mouth out. He took the cap off the chap stick and rubbed it onto his lips. He grabbed some toilet paper and blew his nose. He threw it in the trash and washed his hands. After he was done he exited the bathroom and walked down the hallway back to his room. He looked around in his dresser before he pulled out a pair of jeans and a white tee shirt. After he put them on put on his socks and his red converse sneakers. He shoved his binders, notebooks and summer homework into his backpack and slung it over his shoulder before walking out of his room and downstairs into the kitchen. His mother, Nora was sitting at the table in front of the window. "Good morning dear" Nora said. She had a really calm and gentle voice. "Good morning." Hope replied. Hope put a slice of bread in the toaster. "Where's dad?" He asked. "He already left for work. Lightning is driving you to school right?" "Yeah." Hope took the toast out of the toaster and sat down with his mother. He took small bites of his toast. Neither of his parents ever seemed to notice or say anything about his eating habits. Hope just figured he was lucky that way. He already had Noel who worried about him way too much. Hope and his mother sat in silence for about ten minutes. By then Hope had finished about half of his toast. He sat back in his chair and fiddled with his bracelets. "You should probably go walk over to Noel's now" Nora said. "Yeah you're right" Hope replied. He stood up and threw out the remaining half of his toast and grabbed his backpack. "I'll see you later" He told his mother. "Have a good first day" She yelled as he walked outside. He shut the door behind him and walked down the street to Noel's house. Once he was at the door he tried opening it. It was unlocked and he walked inside. "Oh hi Hope" Lightning said cheerfully. "Good morning lightning" Hope replied. "NOEL! HOPE'S HERE LETS GO!" Lightning yelled. They heard a loud bang coming from upstairs and Hope jumped, startled. Lightning sighed. "What the hell is he doing up there?" Lightning said, sounding exasperated. "I'll go see" Hope replied. Lightning nodded and Hope headed up the stairs. He opened the door to Noel's room where Noel was laying on the floor rubbing his head. Hope should have known Noel wouldn't be up yet. "Noel we're about to leave" "Yeah I know give me five minutes" Hope sighed and walked over to his dresser and pulled out a pair of red skinny jeans and a black tee shirt and threw them at Noel. He walked over to his closet and pulled out a navy blue button down shirt and threw that and Noel too. "Stop throwing shit at me" Noel whined. "Get dressed idiot" Hope spat back. Noel stood up and pulled the shirt over his head. "I'll wait downstairs" Hope told him. Noel groaned and kept getting dressed. The only reason he slept so late was because he stayed up for hours finishing the homework, but he did get it all done. He walked out of his room and downstairs. "Hey sleeping beauty. Ready to go?" Lightning said when she saw Noel come down the stairs. He stuck his tongue out as his mother and walked outside. Hope followed him to the car and Lightning locked the door behind them. Noel and Hope climbed into the backseat of Lightning's car. Hope set his head against the window and sighed. Lighting shut the car door and turned her keys. Noel put his feet up on the passenger seat in front of him as Lightning pulled out of the driveway. "You two excited for you first day of junior year?" Lightning asked. Hope was silent. "I'd rather get a Tetanus shot." Noel joked. Hope smiled with his mouth slightly pressed against the glass. "Listen Noel I don't wanna hear any shit. If I get any phone calls or emails about 'first day of school pranks' your ass is grounded until the day you move out." Lightning commanded. "Oh c'mon mom I'm a good boy" Noel replied sarcastically. "And I have voice mails that say otherwise." Lightning said as she turned a corner. Hope was still quiet. Noel interlaced his fingers with Hope's and kissed his knuckles. "You're gonna be okay today" he whispered. Hope looked at his boyfriend and nodded silently. Lightning was pulling up to the front of the school and Noel was unbuckling his seat belt. He opened the car door and stepped out. Hope followed behind him. "Have a good day guys. Nora is going to pick you up after school." Lightning said. "Okay see you later. I love you. Don't get killed. All that stuff." Noel smirked and rolled Lightning rolled her eyes. Noel had a joking tone to his voice, but he really did mean it. He thought all the time about how his mother might get assigned to some case and gets shot by some psycho. Lightning drove away and Hope and Noel were left standing outside school. There were girls screeching and hugging each other. Parents dropping off freshmen. "Let's go get our schedules?" Hope asked. "Uh. Yeah. Actually you go ahead and do that. I'll be right back." "Where are you go-" Hope started, but Noel was already gone. Hope sighed and walked to their principal's office. He waited in line behind some freshmen who were all getting their schedules. "Good morning Mr. Estheim." Principal Dysley said to Hope when he reached the front of the line. He looked through a stack of papers and handed Hope his schedule. "Um I need Noel's too." Principal Dysley looked through the same stack and handed him the other schedule. "Thanks" Hope added and walked out. He looked at his schedule to find where his homeroom was. Room 421. He headed down the hall wondering where Noel had wandered off to. He hoped he wasn't playing some kind of prank on the gym teacher, Mr. Villiers, who both of them hated. Noel always does something like take the screws out of his chair or tapes an air horn behind the door handle of his office, but Lightning really did mean what she said in the car. Noel had detention forty-seven times last year for playing pranks. "Hope!" He heard a cheery voice coming form behind him. He turned around to see Vanille, as smiley and happy as ever. "Oh hey Vanille" He said, his voice muffled as she wrapped him in a bear hug. "What homeroom are you in?" Vanille asked. "421" "Oh boo hoo!" Vanille pouted. "I'm in 420". Hope and Vanille hadn't been in the same class since they first became friends in first grade. "Were you really expecting to be?" Hope said as they walked down the hallway. "You are always so pessimistic! I thought maybe they would put us in the same class this year." "We still have the same lunch periods." Hope stated. "Yay!" Vanille exclaimed. Hope's lips cracked into a smile. Vanille was always so laid back and care free. Hope envied that about her a little bit. Opposites attract he thinks. That's why they're best friends. Probably why Noel is his boyfriend too. They stop in front of room 420. "I shall see you at lunch" Vanille chimed and skipped into the classroom. Hope walked one door down to 421 and walked in. Ms. Nabaat wasn't there yet. Hope walked to the third row of desks and sat by the window. He looked at the clock and then at his surroundings. The classroom was mostly full, but still no Noel. He pulled his book out of his backpack and started to read as he waited for class to start.

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Noel was wandering the halls looking for Hope. Since he left five minutes after he woke up, he hadn't had time to eat breakfast. They always had this big basket of muffins and bagels and things for teachers in the teacher's lounge on the first day of school. Noel just easily walked in the door, grabbed a chocolate chip muffin and walked out. Noel thinks it really shouldn't have been that easy, but whatever, he got a free muffin. He started to realize that the halls were empty and came to the conclusion that class must have started and he was late, but Hope had his schedule and he didn't know where he was supposed to be. He peeked in the door of a random classroom where Mr. Raines had his homeroom. "Noel this isn't your class." he sad dryly. "Yes, but you can help me with that you see, I have no idea where I'm supposed to be." He heard laughter. He turned to see faces he didn't recognize. "Oh hello freshmen." Noel said with a huge smile on his face. Mr. Raines sighed and looked at his computer to pull up student schedules. "My name is Noel and I am-" "A huge pain in the ass" Mr. Raines interrupted. There was more laughter from the students. "Thank you. I will be on my way. Goodbye newbies. Have fun on the first day of the next four years of hell." Noel sung as he walked out of the classroom. "GO TO CLASS." Mr. Raines shouted down the hall. Noel turned the corner to find 421. He swung open the door and walked inside. Ms. Nabaat was saying something about library fees. "HELLOOOOOO" Noel sung. Ms. Nabaat closed her eyes and sighed. "I heard you would be in my class" she mumbled under her breath. Noel smiled widely. "Why are you late?" Noel looked at the clock. "Seven minutes? I would call that fashionably late." "Take a seat." She said sternly. Noel found Hope sitting next to the window and sat down in the desk behind him. Hope silently passed his schedule back to Noel. "Thanks." He whispered. Noel pulled the muffin out of his backpack and took a bite out of it. "No eating in my class Noel" Ms. Nabaat commanded. Noel took the whole muffin and stuffed it inside his mouth in one bite. "I don't have any food I don't know what you're talking about." Ms. Nabaat put her hands on her hips. "Do I need to send you to principal Dysley?" "It's not even ten minutes into the first day!" Some kid in the back laughed. Suddenly, Noel remembered what his mother had said in the car. "No Ms. Nabaat." He said silently. He was lucky because she was willing to let it slide this time. Noel slumped back in his chair and let his thoughts drift off, not listening while he stared at the back of his boyfriend's head and waited for first period to be over.

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A/N: Sorry this took so long, I was pretty busy. Thanks for the follows and favorites. :D


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